Hi friends. It’s Ryan Reed from Reed Law Group. Let’s say you’ve just learned that your divorce case or custody case has been scheduled for a mediation conference. If it’s your first time taking part in a mediation, you’re probably going to have some questions. What is mediation? What should I expect also? How should I prepare for it? These are good questions and ones that I hear pretty frequently from my clients.
I’ll answer the first two questions in this video. And I’ll say, stay tuned for a future video that addresses how you should prepare for mediation. What is mediation? Well to put it very, very simply mediation is a method for trying to resolve a dispute. You can think of other ways to resolve disputes. Imagine one taking place on a playground. Maybe the disputing parties could agree to a game of rock paper scissors. Best two out of three.
Another way might be for those folks to flip a coin where heads one side wins and tails. The other side wins in more serious matters. Like those proceeding in front of family courts. The traditional way that parties to cases resolve their differences is by having a judge rule on every single aspect of their dispute. The judge is neutral and doesn’t favor one side of the other, but is required to listen to the evidence and to follow the law.
And that’s how those decisions get made. Mediation is a popular alternative to that traditional route. Since many people find the court route to be too time consuming, too expensive, and sometimes too unpredictable in mediation, the parties and their lawyers select a neutral third party called a mediator who then works with them to try and reach a compromise on some or hopefully all of the disputed issues.
An important distinction is that the mediator does not make decisions about the case. He or she simply doesn’t have that authority. Instead, the parties themselves, the spouses or the co-parents, they make the important decisions about the things that matter. The very, most of them time with their children, their home, their retirement accounts or other assets. And they make those decisions relying on advice from their attorneys and support from the mediator. That’s mediation in a nutshell. So if you’ve got an upcoming mediation, what should you expect?
Well, mediation generally takes place in an office setting, not at the courthouse. It’s an important process. It’s just not as formal as those proceedings that take place in the courtroom in front of a judge. In fact, there won’t be a judge present for your mediation. It’s normally just the spouses or parents along with their lawyers. Plus the mediator outside parties are generally discouraged or disallowed for being involved.
Most of the mediators in this region conduct mediations with each spouse or parent in a separate room with his or her attorney, then the mediation proceeds with the mediator, shuttling back and forth between the two rooms, working with one spouse or parent at a time because of this, there will obviously be some times when it’s just you and your lawyer. You’re waiting on the mediator to return.
You should count on some downtime during the mediation, during your individual sessions, the mediator will frequently be asking questions, the areas where the spouses or parents agree. And certainly those where they disagree, most mediators will want the spouses or parents, sometimes their lawyers to explain the facts, the reasons, or maybe the legal points that support the positions each side is taking in the disagreement. So you should be ready to talk about those things and explain your views.
Mediators will frequently challenge each side to fully face and to account for how the weaknesses of their own case or the strengths of the other side’s case may impact the eventual outcome. So you should expect some pretty tough questions about the unfavorable parts of your case. Sometimes these questions are even going to be about you or your own mistakes or past behavior.
And you must be prepared to have a Frank and honest conversation about those things because they may impact the decisions to be made. You should not expect a mediation to be a short or quick meeting, especially if progress is being made toward a compromise. A mediation conference typically takes a few hours to run its full course. Some families choose to hold multiple sessions to try and separate child related matters like custody or time sharing from financial matters, like dividing assets or debts either way, sometimes clients and even their lawyers, yes, become frustrated by the pace of progress.
This is not uncommon and you may become frustrated too, but if you’re mediating, it’s probably because you and your spouse or co-parent need additional support to help you fully explore whether compromise can be found. So be prepared to invest the time and the emotional energy that it will take to do this work and to allow the process to function.
Finally, if you are able to reach a compromise, whether it’s to fully and finally resolve your case with a settlement or whether it’s to resolve only some of the issues you should expect to be asked to sign some form of a written document that States what your agreement is, signing this agreement as a way to help Mark the progress that has been made during the mediation. And it also helps ensure that the terms that have been agreed to will be enforceable by the family court. So that’s what mediation is and what to expect from a divorce or custody mediation conference.
You know, I think statistics would probably show that most divorce and custody cases today through the use of mediation are settled outside of the courtroom and without a full blown court trial. If you enter this process mindful of what I’ve spoken to here today and of the thoughts on preparation that I’ll share in the later video, I think you’ll have a good chance that your case will be one of those that gets settled successfully out of court. Good luck with your mediation conference. And thanks for listening.
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